An Old, Old Post Where I Prove How Wrong I Was

I'm going to do something I don't usually do around here. I'm going to get sappy. In my two year anniversary post, I mentioned the fact that this blog had an old name. And in that version, I talked about my dating life. And five days into blogging, I went to London on a business trip and saw Travis on January 30, 2012. And I wrote a post about seeing him that I took down after only a couple of weeks. And because we are now engaged, and because we are getting married exactly one year from today on January 31, 2015, I thought I'd re-share that post.

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I'm going to start by apologizing to those of you who don't know me very well. Who maybe don't know who Travis is. Who weren't around for the years of love and perfection and constant ups and downs between him and me. Who maybe aren't interested in hearing about my love for someone who maybe will never really be mine.

UPDATE: There has been a request for a picture, so here we are together in 2007:

But this story has to be told. For one, it is sweet and romantic and totally dating related and therefore relevant to this blog. For two, I'm wearing some version of slacks + black polo all this week and therefore have nothing apparel related to show you. And finally, I have always, and will always, love the boy who is at the center of this story, and so many other stories in my history.

Some of you know that I had a special reason for coming to London. I mean, let's be honest, I had no choice because it is for work. But one of my best friends, my long-lost loves, my soul mate (gag me now, but if you know me, you know this accidentally may be kind of somewhat true), lives just a couple of hours outside the city. So of course as soon as I knew what my schedule would be he and I started working out logistics of how I could see him in Londontown, all the way around the world from where we are at home. And yesterday, once I was done setting up the booth, I headed to the underground to go into the city. And he hopped on a train from Hastings to London.

And we met. Under Big Ben. 

And he was standing there, waiting for me as I came over the bridge, and he looked nervous. (He later admitted that he was, which I find adorable, because I haven't been nervous around him since 8th grade.) I walked up and we hugged. For a long time. And then he reached down, held my freezing cold hand (it is literally 0 degrees and snowing here) and walked me across the street, down the road, and into a pub. The whole way, we talked about me. My life, my sister, my parents, my work, my breakup, my house, my successes and failures. He was just so happy to see me, and so interested in me. And for those of you who know him...you must know that he hasn't always been like this with me. He cared, but he couldn't show it. He was interested, but only when it worked for him. And yesterday he was different. He's grown up.

And so we sat in the pub, and we sat close together, in a corner booth, and we talked about him over a beer. His time in Georgia, teaching English; his time in DC, trying to get a UK visa; his time in Hastings, working at the boarding school, dating a Brit with a kid (shocker, if you know him); his family; his friends.

And it was wonderful. 

And laying in bed this morning...I just felt the everything I have felt for him for so long come rushing back. And it is so special.

For those of you who know him, and me, and our history, you may be freaking out. So let me just clarify one thing: Trav and I are probably never going to get married. But yesterday, he talked to me about the dreams he's had. He talked to me about law school, about being a professor, and raising a family. And he talked to me about new dreams. Teaching high school, traveling with someone he loves and showing them the life he created for himself in Georgia and the UK and in future adventures, building a life that included plans for a tomorrow, even knowing tomorrow could never come.

There is a really good chance I won't get to have him forever.

But there is an even better chance that given the opportunity, I would drop everything else to give a life with him every advantage I could.

And last night, we met under Big Ben in London. And that's pretty incredible.
Posted on January 31, 2014 .