It's a Guest Post With Amazing Shoes and a Story That Will Make you Pee your Pants Kind of Day

Happy Tuesday everyone! As you read this I'm most likely laying by the pool, fruity drink in hand, reading a trashy book on my Kindle while working on my tan. Gosh, life is rough :)

Today we have a guest post from Jen, one of my favorite readers of my blog for these 3 reasons:
 1) I didn't know Jen until I started my blog, yet she has been one of my most loyal followers (and commenters! And when I met her in person I felt like I knew her!
2) When this blog was about Match.com as well as clothes, she shared a disaster story that made me realize I wasn't alone in potentially ruining everything with my dream guy.
3) She wrote this guest post, which made me almost pee my pants when I read it for the first time. This girl is stylish and hilarious! 

Enjoy!

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When Bri asked me to do a guest post, I said yes right away to help her out while she is sunning herself in Mexico; and then I realized I've never written a blog post in my life.  So naturally, I Googled, "How To Write A Guest Post."  What CAN'T you find on Google?  The answer to my question is apparently what you cannot find on Google.  Although, to be fair to Google, I found some general tips on guest blogging but nothing that actually applied to me.  Below are a few favorite tips I came across:
  • Don't Submit a Lame Article (Well right, that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid here...)
  • Make Sure You Seem Human (I should hope this is kind of a given?)
  • "Stalk" Them (the blogger) on Social Networks (I swear to God, it said that)
Really?  Don't suck, don't be a robot and don't wind up in jail for following our weird advice of stalking people?  Not helpful.  

I don't really consider myself a terribly fashionable person.  I can put together a pretty good outfit, but usually with inspiration from other people's outfits.  I am not at all creative, but I know what I like when I see it on someone else.  (Hence why I frequent everyone else's fashion blogs!)  The outfit I put together today was without inspiration but it's fairly simple.  It includes a few of my favorite things:


One of my favorite things is FLOWY tops. (This burnt orange top was from Forever 21, Dec 2011.  It's this perfect amazing THANKSGIVING orange - though it doesn't quite come across right in these pics.  But think Thanksgiving (not pumpkin) Orange and you've got the idea) I love feeling like I'm wearing a nightgown from a Doris Day movie.  Especially to work.  It's two layers of this sheer beautiful fabric with a pretty detailed top part.  Paired with an Express sweater (2009 maybe?) and leggings (anywhere, anytime), it makes for a conservative but pretty office look.  (Chug/Pughuahua sold separately)


Here is another of my favorite things!  My go to coat for spring.  It's kind of retro with 3/4 bell sleeves.  I feel AMAZING when I'm wearing it with a skirt & knee high boots.  Very 60's. Kohl's like...2006??  It's totally falling apart but I refuse to get rid of it.  Also, do you love my pose?  I've never had to do this before.  I did not have access to Bri's photographer, so I had to ask my boyfriend to take a few pics AND MADE HIM PAUSE HIS VIDEO GAME FOR IT.  Can you imagine?  Anyway, I'm like "Give me some direction here!"  And he says, "I take pictures of nature, not people.  Look natural, I guess."  So obviously I was like, "Hey look, I'm looking over there!  Something totally interesting is happening over my right shoulder!"


And then I'm like, "Wow concrete is so in right now.  Look at my shoes..."  But really I just wanted a gratuitous coat closed shot too.


But really can we talk about my shoes?  These shoes have been my favorite pair ever since I got them 2 (ish?) years ago from Shoedazzle.  They make me feel très chic.  5'8 rather than 5'3 and so stylin'.  

Now on to the bloggy part of this post.  Today is the first day in 2.5 weeks that I've gotten to wear heels.  I am addicted to shoes.  Tall, amazing, fun heel type shoes (and boots too) but 2.5 weeks ago I was leaving my house on my way to work when my feet went out from under me on my (steep) walkway and I recall uttering some ridiculous mix of horror movie & southern bell fainting type scream.  And then I was on my back on the ground for a few minutes thinking "That sucked."  I continued on to work and the longer I sat there I was like, "Wait, I am SERIOUSLY in some pain here."  So I went to the ER and found I had a sprained wrist (fine now) and a broken tailbone (still sucking).  The treatment plan?  IBUPROFEN (which seems to do absolutely nothing), and...SITTING ON A DONUT.  Like I am 80.  Like telling people I have a broken tailbone from "taking a little tumble" didn't already make me feel about 50 years older than I actually am.

So a few days later, I had to go bring some investment bankers up to my boss (the CFO)'s office.  I was fairly friendly with one of them but just meeting the other (HOT) one for the first time and as I was very noticeably hobbling over to them and wearing an ACE bandage on my wrist, the gentleman I was friendly with was like "What happened to you?"  So I went on with my "I had a bad fall, sonny!" story and then of course he asked about healing and treatment so I told them about THE DONUT.  Trying to be funny, I told them about the box in which my donut came.  There is (seriously) a picture of an elderly man sitting at his breakfast table (on his donut of course) reading the newspaper.  Small talk was over, and they were escorted in my boss' office.  An hour passes and they come out and then the hot one comes by my desk to say nice to meet me and all those business pleasantries and then says, "LET'S SEE THIS DONUT I'VE HEARD ALL ABOUT."  WHAT?!  I don't know if any of you watch/watched last week's How I Met Your Mother, but I'm fairly certain I turned a shade of vermilion.  I was totally mortified.  I kind of laughed but he kept looking at me expectantly.  So I stood up to reveal THIS:


THE DONUT.  My life is awful.

I hope you're all having a fantastic day!
Posted on April 24, 2012 .